Why do our closest people inlfuence us so much?
- Sanchit Kamat
- Jan 4
- 4 min read
Have you ever wondered why you start liking a song just because your best friend loves it? Or why you suddenly remember a fun day at the beach when you smell sunscreen? It is wild how one small thing can unlock an entire memory or feeling. This happens because of something called the Law of Association. It’s a simple idea in psychology that explains how our minds connect ideas, memories, and experiences. Let me explain it like I’m telling a friend about something cool I just learned.
What is the Law of Association?
The Law of Association is basically how our brain links things together. When two things happen close to each other or share some kind of connection, our brain starts to connect them. So, when you think of one thing, it can remind you of the other. It’s like your brain is making a chain of ideas or memories that are connected in some way.
For example, if you always listen to a certain song while hanging out with your friends, later on, hearing that song might make you think of those fun times. Or if you smell a certain perfume that your mom wears, it might remind you of her even if you are far away. These connections happen because your brain associates those things together.
How the Brain Links Ideas and Memories
Our brain is like a giant web where everything is connected. When you experience something new, your brain doesn’t just store it alone. It links it to other things you already know. This helps you remember better and understand the world around you.
There are three classic ways our brain makes these connections:
Similarity: When two things are alike, your brain links them. For example, you might connect two songs that sound similar or two friends who have similar personalities.
Contrast: Sometimes, your brain links things that are very different to help you notice the difference. Like thinking of night when you see day, or hot when you feel cold.
Contiguity: This means things that happen close together in time or space get linked. Like hearing a bell and then getting food, your brain connects the bell with eating.
These types of associations happen all the time without us even realizing it. That’s why a smell, a sound, or even a place can suddenly bring back a flood of memories or feelings.
Everyday Examples of Association
Think about a time when a song suddenly reminded you of a summer vacation or a friend. Maybe you heard a tune on the radio and instantly remembered a road trip. That is your brain using the Law of Association to connect the song with your memory.
Or imagine walking into a bakery and smelling fresh bread. That smell might remind you of your grandma’s kitchen or a special birthday party. It is crazy how just a smell can bring back so many feelings and images.
Even habits work this way. If you always study while drinking a certain tea, later on, just the smell of that tea might make you feel ready to focus. Your brain links the tea with studying, so it helps you get into the right mood.
Why This Law Matters for Learning and Behavior
Understanding the Law of Association helps explain how we learn new things and form habits. When you study, your brain connects new information with what you already know. This makes it easier to remember and understand.
Habits are also built on associations. For example, if you always brush your teeth right after breakfast, your brain links those two actions. Eventually, just finishing breakfast makes you want to brush your teeth without thinking about it.
This law also explains why some behaviors stick and others don’t. If a behavior is linked to something positive, like a reward or a good feeling, you are more likely to keep doing it. On the other hand, if it is linked to something unpleasant, you might avoid it.
How Association Works in Advertising and Conditioning
You might not realize it, but advertisers use the Law of Association all the time. They try to connect their products with good feelings, fun times, or popular people. For example, a soda commercial might show friends laughing and having fun. The idea is that when you see the soda, you’ll think of those happy moments and want to buy it.
This is also related to conditioning, which is a way of learning based on associations. If a dog hears a bell every time it gets food, it will start to expect food when it hears the bell. Humans work the same way with all kinds of signals and rewards.
How Understanding Association Helps Us Understand Ourselves
Knowing about the Law of Association can help us see why we react the way we do. Sometimes, we might feel a certain way or remember something without knowing why. It could be because our brain linked that feeling or memory to something we experienced before.
It also helps us understand why the people closest to us influence us so much. We spend a lot of time with family and friends, so our brains connect their habits, opinions, and feelings with our own. That is why their likes and dislikes can rub off on us without us even noticing.
When you realize how your mind connects things, you can use it to your advantage. You can build better habits, learn more easily, and even change how you feel by changing what you associate with certain things.




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